Apparently I have stinky poop! Can you believe that? I certainly don't. I mean, do I look like the kind of cat that has stinky poop?
Mum says she can't remember my poop ever being as stinky as it is now. I'm not sure this is really a topic for general conversation.
Mum: Puss, your poop is really stinky. In fact it is so stinky it stinks out the entire house. The other thing I don't understand is why you always have to make stinky poop at 4.30 am every morning. It's so stinky it wakes us up, and one of us has to get up to get rid of the stinky poop.
I should explain that my kitty tray is in the spare room, which is next door to their bedroom. I don't know what all the fuss is about. A cat's got to do what a cat's got to do, doesn't matter what time it is.
Mum: At least you're regular, I suppose.
Exactly, at least you know were you are with me on the poop front. They have decided to change my food, from the Iams light to something else, as apparently Iams is known for making stinky poop. I don't really care what it is, as long as I get fed.
Mum: Puss, if your poop is really stinky in the house, just imagine what it smells like on the boat thing. Stinky poop in a confined space is not a good thing.
Is that why you're always rushing about in the early hours of the morning? I thought it was time to get up, but that explains why you always go back to bed again.
Mum: And another thing. Are you scrumping some other kitty's dinner?? We weighed you at the weekend, and you've put back on all the weight that you lost.
Um, me? Scrump another kitty's dinner. Would I do that?? (Puss looks sheepishly at the floor).
Mum: Hmm, I might have to reduce your rations if this goes on.
Hey, wait a minute. What if I promise not to make any more stinky poop? Does that mean the kitty treats are rationed now?
On the subject of treats, I got a new jar for mine from my Grandma (the one who thinks it's Christmas in August). It's got a little fishy on the top.
I know there's treats in it, cos I've looked! Now, if I could only work out how to get the lid off.
I'm a big fat ginger cat with stinky poop (allegedly!!)